I’ve been coaching for a few years now, and the biggest thing I’ve learned – both for me and for my clients – is that inner confidence is the key to it all.

There are all kinds of strategies, ways of thinking, patterns of behavior, and practical tips for improving your life and feeling better about yourself, but they’re all redundant if the foundation isn’t there. That foundation is the real you, the you that you know deep down. The trick is that it takes confidence to find that and to bring out who you are – here are the two keys to finding your true inner confidence.

  1. Get To Know Your Values

Personal values are a big passion of mine and I often get carried away with myself when I talk about them. I make no apology for that though – they’re one of the most important things you can know about yourself and are vital in getting genuine inner confidence. Your values are ten thousand feet down inside you, right at the very core of who you are; they’re your building blocks, the foundations, and cornerstones. 

A value is something in you, in others, or in the world that’s most important to you, which could include things like beliefs, progress, family, fun, nature, achievement, or freedom.

Why is it that some people and situations leave you feeling angry, frustrated, demotivated, or deflated? It’s because one or more of your values is being denied, suppressed, or repressed – which denies an important piece of who you are.

Do you know those times when you’ve felt alive, amazing, are the times when one or more of your values are being honored? And you can get more of that by living according to them.

Your values are all yours, and no matter what happens, no one can ever take them away. You can have absolute confidence in them. When you get to know your values, you can start to make choices and align your life around them. It’s so simple and it feels amazing because all that means is that you’re allowing who you are to live in the real world.

  1. Exercise the Muscle

Confidence is a muscle, and like any muscle, you need to exercise it so it doesn’t shrink and waste away. The problem is that unlike your biceps or glutes, which tend to stay in the same place, your confidence muscle can be harder to find. Now, you develop your biceps or firm up your glutes by doing exercises that are designed to work that muscle over a while until you see the results you were looking for.

It’s just the same with confidence. Let’s say that you’re the kind of person that doesn’t take many risks – who goes through each day doing what needs to be done and doing it well, but not stretching yourself. You might talk yourself out of doing something because it’s too scary or because you keep saying  “ I’m not good enough,” “That’s not who I am” or “I don’t want it anyway.” That kind of person lives within what they know and what keeps them safe and comfortable. The fewer risks you take, the less confident you’ll need to be and so the less confident you become.

To work your confidence muscle you need to be prepared to take risks – big or small. You need to be willing to stretch yourself in an unfamiliar direction. So today, try something new or try something in a slightly different way. You need to open yourself up to the possibilities around you and push yourself to increase what you know, what you do, and who you are. The more open you are to risks, opportunities, and possibilities, the more confident you’ll be”. Now, the question is, what are you going to do to exercise your confidence muscle today?

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