3 Reasons You Shouldn’t Make Long-Term Decisions During the Honeymoon Phase

The honeymoon phase: that intoxicating stage of love where everything feels perfect. The chemistry is electric, the conversations flow effortlessly, and you start daydreaming about your future together—vacations, moving in, even marriage. It’s magical, isn’t it?

But here’s the thing: while this stage is beautiful, it’s also deceptive. Making long-term decisions during the honeymoon phase can lead to heartbreak, regret, or missed red flags. I’ve been there, and as a dating coach for women over 40, I’ve seen it happen far too often.

So, before you decide to merge your lives during this love-high, let’s talk about the three reasons you should pump the brakes and enjoy the ride without rushing into forever.

1. Your Brain Is on a Love High (and It’s Lying to You)

Let’s start with the science. When you’re in the honeymoon phase, your brain releases a cocktail of feel-good hormones—dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin—that make everything about your partner seem perfect.

I remember when I was in a whirlwind romance after my divorce. He was charming, attentive, and seemed to check every box. Within weeks, we were fantasizing about moving in together and planning our dream trip to Italy. It felt like destiny!

But here’s the truth: it wasn’t destiny—it was biology. My brain was tricking me, rewarding me with feel-good chemicals that clouded my judgment. And when reality set in, I realized I hadn’t truly considered whether we were compatible for the long haul.

Why It Matters:

When you’re in the honeymoon phase, you’re not seeing the relationship clearly. Your brain is focused on the thrill of new love, not the practicalities of building a life together. Big decisions—like living arrangements, financial commitments, or engagement—require clarity, not chemistry.

Pause and Reflect:

Before making a life-changing decision, ask yourself: Am I doing this because it feels good now, or because it’s truly the right step for my future?

2. You Don’t Really Know Them Yet

Here’s a truth bomb: you can’t truly know someone in the first few months of dating. During the honeymoon phase, people are on their best behavior, showing you their highlight reel.

In one of my relationships, everything seemed perfect at first. He was sweet, thoughtful, and said all the right things. But when life threw him a curveball, I saw a side of him I wasn’t prepared for. His calm exterior turned to anger, and I began noticing other red flags I had ignored in my love-induced haze.

Why It Matters:

Real relationships are built on seeing each other through every season—joy, stress, conflict, and growth. Rushing into commitments before you’ve experienced these moments together can lead to surprises down the road.

Practical Tip:

Think of it like buying a house. Would you commit to a property after one quick tour, without inspecting the foundation? Probably not. The same principle applies to relationships. Take your time to truly understand your partner’s character, values, and how they handle challenges.

3. It’s Not Just About Them—It’s About You

This one’s personal. When I reflect on the times I rushed into relationships, I realize it wasn’t because I was 100% certain about the person—it was because I was operating from fear. Fear of being alone, fear of losing a good thing, fear of repeating the mistakes of my past.

The honeymoon phase is beautiful, but it’s also a mirror. It reflects your emotions, desires, and sometimes, your insecurities. Are you rushing into decisions because you’re truly ready, or because you’re afraid of what might happen if you don’t?

Why It Matters:

Relationships require you to show up whole and secure, not looking for someone else to fill the gaps. When you take the time to do your inner work—healing from past pain, rediscovering your confidence, and clarifying your desires—you’ll find that you don’t need to rush.

Self-Check:

Ask yourself: Am I making this decision from a place of love and alignment, or from fear and uncertainty?

The Bottom Line

The honeymoon phase is an incredible stage of love. It’s where memories are made, connections deepen, and possibilities seem endless. But it’s also a time to pause and savor the moment—not to lock yourself into decisions that could change the course of your life.

Remember These 3 Truths:

1. Your brain is on a love high—don’t trust it just yet.

2. You haven’t truly seen the full picture of your partner.

3. Your inner work is the foundation for making decisions with clarity and confidence.

Have you ever made a big decision during the honeymoon phase? How did it turn out? Share your story in the comments—I’d love to hear from you!

By taking your time and focusing on building a strong foundation, you’re setting yourself up for a love that lasts a lifetime. Trust the process—you’re worth it.