THE NEW LOVE LANGUAGES - AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER ON AMAZON & GRACEPOINT PUBLISHING

I learned love through experience. I now teach it through discernment.

ABOUT JOAN

Joan Nwosu is the founder of LACE™, author of The New Love Languages, a Certified Relationship Coach, Certified Human Design Coach, teacher of discernment, and Relationship Intelligence pioneer. Through coaching, education, media, and explainable technology, Joan helps individuals and relationship professionals see patterns more clearly, make wiser relationship decisions, and build more conscious connections.

THE STORY BEHIND THE WORK

I was eight years old when I learned that love was supposed to hurt.

I watched my mother pack her bags when I was eight. She had stayed twelve years because that's what women did. Because leaving meant failure. Because the church said marriage was sacred. Standing in that doorway, I learned two things I didn't know I had learned: love is supposed to hurt. And you stay anyway.

I carried those lessons forward invisibly into every relationship that followed. Years later, the question was no longer, “Why can’t I find the right man?” It became, “Why do I keep showing up as the wrong version of myself?”

"Eight engagements. One divorce. I had read every book. Done the therapy. Attended the workshops. I knew better. I was not choosing better."

Even after becoming a Certified Relationship Coach, I could explain relationship patterns intellectually while still repeating some of them personally. The problem was not simply my ability to choose. It was the perception, conditioning, and emotional investment shaping those choices.

When I encountered Human Design in 2024, it gave me a reflective language for patterns I had struggled to name. Gates 40 and 44 did not prove that my relationships were predetermined. They helped me examine recurring themes around recognition, reciprocity, devotion, and discernment.

I was not broken. I needed a clearer way to see what I was repeating and why. That recognition became part of the foundation for the work I now do through coaching, education, and Relationship Intelligence.

Gate 44. Gate 40.
Two gates that helped me see my patterns differently.

THE REFLECTIVE LENS

The Recognition Gate

SHADOW

The Status Seeker. I had spent years scanning every new person for what I could see in them, elevate in them, improve in them. I was not choosing partners. I was casting costars.

GIFT

The Precise Visionary. In its more aligned expression, Gate 44 invites recognition without projection. It helped me distinguish what I genuinely observed from the potential I wanted to develop.

The Devotion Gate

SHADOW

The Resentful Provider. I had been keeping a ledger I never showed anyone. Every act of love quietly tallied, quietly resented when it wasn't returned. Earning love through labour.

GIFT

The Devoted Provider. In its more aligned expression, Gate 40 gives from fullness rather than depletion. It helped me understand devotion without hidden debt and service without the secret invoice.

Coaching is one expression of a larger mandate.

THE WORK TODAY

I am a Certified Relationship Coach and Certified Human Design Coach, a 3/6 Splenic Projector, and a teacher of discernment. Nigerian by origin, Londoner by formation, and Torontonian for the past eleven years.

I am the founder of LACE™, the Love Alignment & Compatibility Engine; author of The New Love Languages, forthcoming from GracePoint Publishing in November 2026, and iRise: The Ten Secrets to Getting Up When Life Knocks You Down; and host of the Love By Design Podcast.

Everything I teach has been shaped by lived experience, professional training, and years of reflection. I do not offer guarantees. I offer frameworks that help people see more clearly and choose with greater awareness.

My work sits at the intersection of spiritual awareness, structured frameworks, and real-world application. I translate consciousness, lived experience, and practical insight into Relationship Intelligence. Coaching remains an important part of that work, alongside education, writing, media, and explainable technology.

CREDENTIALS & PROFESSIONAL WORK

Certified Relationship Coach

Certified Human Design Coach

Teacher of Discernment

Author ·The New Love Languages

Author ·iRise

Host · Love By Design Podcast

Creator · Love Gates Framework

Speaker · 50+ Events and Stages

Founder · LACE™

50+

SPEAKING AND MEDIA APPEARANCES

BOOKS

46K

Social Media COMMUNITY

26K

Podcast Downloads

The books.

BOOKS & FORTHCOMING WORK

FORTHCOMING NOVEMBER 2026

The New Love Languages: Unlock Lasting Love Through 10 Human Design Gates

The New Love Languages introduces Joan’s Relationship Intelligence philosophy through the lens of 10 Human Design Love Gates. It offers a reflective framework for understanding how people give, receive, and interpret love. Forthcoming from GracePoint Publishing.

PRE-ORDER NOW

AWARD-WINNING

iRise: The Ten Secrets to Getting Up When Life Knocks You Down

Joan's first book. A guide to resilience, rising, and reclaiming your life after devastation.

GET AMAZON

Bringing Relationship Intelligence to stages, organisations, and media.

Joan speaks to organisations, conferences, retreats, podcasts, and media on Relationship Intelligence, discernment, conscious relationships, and the future of more human relationship technology. Her talks combine lived experience, professional coaching insight, structured frameworks, and practical application.

Speaking & media

THE DISCERNMENT PRINCIPLE: Why the quality of our decisions cannot exceed the quality of the discernment behind them.
THE REAL ATTRACTION PYRAMID: Understanding the difference between chemistry, compatibility, and conscious alignment.
CONSCIOUS LOVE VS CONDITIONED LOVE: How conditioning shapes relationship choices and how greater awareness supports wiser decisions.
RELATIONSHIP INTELLIGENCE: What modern dating, matchmaking, leadership, and relationship technology are still missing.