The Engine of How You Love

If love has felt exhausting, confusing, or like something you keep “almost” getting right, there’s a reason.

And it’s not because you’re choosing the wrong people.

It’s because you’re trying to run a relationship without understanding your engine.

Your Love Gates are the energetic frequencies that determine how you give and receive love.

They’re not preferences.

They’re not habits.

They’re not something you negotiate away for chemistry.

They are hardwired.

And when your Love Gates aren’t functioning properly in a relationship, the relationship will not survive. Period.

Think of Your Love Gates as Your Engine

You can have:

• Great communication
  

• Strong chemistry
  

• Shared values
  

• Mutual attraction
  

But if the engine isn’t right, you’re not going anywhere.

You can’t turn a V6 into a V8 by wanting it harder.

You can’t run diesel through a system designed for unleaded.

And you can’t override your Love Gates without eventually burning out the relationship.

The Two Types of Love Gates

There are 10 Love Gates, and they fall into two categories:

The Transcendent Love Gates

(Gates 10, 15, 25, 46)

These gates are about loving through another person to connect with something greater:

• Purpose
  

• Humanity
  

• Innocence
  

• Self-love
  

• Embodiment
  
  

If these gates are unsupported, love feels empty even when the relationship “looks good.”

The Mundane Love Gates

(Gates 44, 40, 58, 41, 28, 55)

These gates are about loving with someone:

• Devotion
  

• Pattern recognition
  

• Emotional depth
  

• Desire
  

• Meaning
  

• Joy
  

If these gates are misaligned, love feels effortful, dramatic, or unstable.

Both are required.

And both must be honored.

Why Most Relationships Break Down Here

Most people don’t lose relationships because they didn’t try hard enough.

They lose them because:

• They suppressed their Love Gates to be chosen
  

• They expressed them in shadow without understanding why
  

• Or they partnered with someone who couldn’t meet their engine requirements
  

Then they blame themselves.

You don’t need to fix your Love Gates.

You need to stop fighting them.

Shadow vs Gift Is the Whole Game

Every Love Gate has two expressions:

• Shadow: how it shows up when you don’t feel safe
  

• Gift: how it expresses when you do
  

The goal is not to get rid of the shadow.

The goal is to create enough safety for the gift to lead.

This is why secure attachment emerges naturally when Love Gates are supported.

And why no amount of “communication skills” can save a relationship that’s misaligned at the engine level.

The Truth Most Advice Leaves Out

Your Love Gates aren’t negotiable.

If they’re not functioning in your relationship, the relationship will not survive.

But when they are functioning:

• Love feels steady instead of effortful
  

• Desire feels clean instead of anxious
  

• Devotion feels chosen instead of earned
  

That’s not luck.

That’s alignment.

Next, we’ll move to Pillar Two: Your Definition, your fuel system and what “the right partner” actually means for your design.

Because even the right engine can’t run without the right fuel.

If you want to prep your system now, download your Love By Design Blueprint and meet your Love Gates before we go deeper.

You’re not broken in love.

You’ve just been driving without knowing what engine you’re built with.

Your Love Gates are the engine behind how you love — and when they’re running from shadow, love doesn’t just feel hard, it repeats.

Awareness helps, but patterns don’t break at the level of understanding; they break when the frequency beneath them shifts.

If you’re ready to stop choosing from conditioning and let your system recalibrate back to truth, I created a free audio to support that shift. Permanently Break Your Love Loops is an intimate, guided experience designed to close the cycle at the root.

→ Listen to the free audio report HERE