Why Love Gets Easier When You Stop Trying to Be Someone Else

Most people approach love like a problem to fix.

They read the books.

Learn the rules.

Try to be more secure, more confident, less emotional, and less guarded.

And when it still doesn’t work, they assume the problem must be them.

Here’s the truth I wish someone had told me earlier:

You’re not broken in love.

You’re just living out of alignment with your design.

For years, I thought I was the issue.

I tried to fix myself.

Tried different techniques.

Tried showing up quieter, cooler, more available, less needy.

Nothing changed.

Not because I wasn’t trying hard enough.

But because I was using someone else’s operating system.

The Mistake Most Relationship Advice Makes

Most relationship advice is generic.

It assumes everyone loves the same way.

Needs the same things.

Should follow the same steps.

But love doesn’t work like that.

You wouldn’t pour diesel fuel into a car that runs on unleaded.

You wouldn’t drive a manual the same way you drive an automatic.

So why are you trying to love using advice that wasn’t designed for your system?

Human Design showed me something radical:

There is nothing wrong with how you love.

There is something wrong with trying to love out of alignment with how you’re wired.

What Love By Design Is Really About

Love By Design is not about fixing your relationships.

It’s about understanding how you’re actually designed to love so you stop fighting yourself in the process.

When you get you right, the right person magnetizes toward you.

Not through effort.

Not through performance.

But through alignment.

Introducing the 6 Pillars of Love By Design

Over the next series of posts, I’ll be breaking down the 6 Pillars that make up your personal love blueprint.

Each pillar answers a different question you’ve probably been asking for years:

1. Your Love Gates – How you’re designed to give and receive deep love.

2. Your Definition – Whether you’re wired for independence or partnership.

3. Your Profile – The energetic presence people feel when they meet you.

4. Your Type – How your aura interacts with others in dating and relationships.

5. Your Strategy – The correct way for you to move relationships forward.

6. Your Authority – How you’re meant to make relationship decisions.

Together, they form your complete love vehicle.

When you understand all six, you stop guessing.

You stop forcing chemistry.

You stop blaming yourself.

You start choosing from clarity.

Why This Series Matters

This work isn’t about becoming more lovable.

It’s about remembering that you already are.

When you stop trying to be the “right” version of yourself and start being the aligned version of yourself, love changes.

Not because you chased it better.

But because you finally showed up as who you actually are.

Love doesn’t get easier because you try harder.
It gets easier when you stop abandoning who you are.

If you’re ready to close the loops that keep pulling you back into old versions of love, I created a free audio to guide that shift. Permanently Break Your Love Loops isn’t about learning more; it’s about releasing what no longer fits.

→ Go listen to the audio report HERE